Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Trials and Comfort

I usually try not to express my feelings and emotions to much on our blog, and like to use it as just a tool to show what we have been up too.  But I got the very strong impression to write about an experience that I had today.

This is really difficult for me to actually write, and I've tried to write down my feelings a few times but each time I do I just want the hurt to go away so I try not to think about it.  My family and my aunt Pat's family have always been really close.  My Aunt Pat and Uncle Paul are two of the nicest people you will ever meet.  For spring break/Easter we would go down to Virginia and visit their daughter Kelly and her family.  She has two of the sweetest kids ever, and it blows my mind because how old they've gotten because I remember holding Brynn in my arms when she was just a little baby! Kelly was really great about staying in touch with me over facebook when I moved out here to Idaho for college.  Even though we always lived so far away from each other I always knew that if I needed her she would be there.  She was really important to me.  Kelly unfortunately was in a bad situation at home and in winter she died, very unexpectedly (details are not appropriate to share so please don't ask).  I was in school that semester and we basically had no money, I tried to convince myself to just put the $850 airplane ticket on a credit card and go to her funeral.  I really wanted to be there for my family, but I had a gut feeling telling me not to go.  I followed my gut, and either the day of her funeral or the day before I talked to my Aunt Pat and I will never forget the feelings that I felt when we finished the conversation.  She told me that she knew that I wanted to be there, and if there was any way possible I would be.  When I got off the phone with her and had myself a good long cry something in my heart was telling me that it was important for me to remember Kelly by the memories that I had of her and that for me I didn't need seeing her at her funeral to be the last memory.  I know that I will see her again, and that gave me so much comfort.

The reason that I was thinking a lot about Kelly today was in my sociology class we were discussing domestic violence, and it just really hit home with members of my family.  If you know that someone is being hurt- you have to be there for them, don't judge or criticize them for not leaving, but let them know that they are being brave for telling someone and provide them with references to resources that can help them.  The most important thing you can do is listen and believe them.

That being said, sometimes there is no escaping death.  It's apart of life, and it should be.  It's the only way that we can live with God again and have the greatest happiness and joy.  It's painful, sad, heartbreaking, sometimes we don't think it's fair, and usually it just plain sucks.  But it happens.  When it happens please don't turn to bad habits to cope, but rather look for the ways positive ways that this person has affected your life.  What did you learn from them?  How will their death make you do things or see things differently?  Believe me, I know it's a heck of a lot easier said than done, but it can be done- in time.  I have been able to forsake the anger that I felt for the person that took my cousins life away and honestly forgive him. That only came after I had found peace in the plan of salvation

We've all lost loved ones and some of us really struggle with that every day.  This short video that I watched really strengthened my faith in the Lord that death is not the end of us, and that we will be together again.  Families are eternal and everlasting, death does not triumph over life.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Meet Ruby!

Well after realizing how small our little 2 door Pontiac Grand Am was, and seeing as though it had gotten into like 4 accidents, and with winter coming along it was only 2 wheel drive and scared the living daylights out of me when the roads were even the slightest bit slick....

We bought RUBY!

She is pretty much my favorite car ever
and we got a pretty good deal on her too. 
And we definitely put her to the test on the way home! 

The dealership was all the way in Jackson, WY about 2 hours away and every time we go I cry when we go through the Swan Valley Pass.  It literally is the scariest thing in the whole world when there is snow on it.  And even though it's only November there was a ton of it! Enough that people were snowboarding down the side of the mountain.  Well our little blue car could barely make it up the mountain, and it's brake aren't too swell anymore (we are in the process of fixing them)  With my hands and nails digging into the car and sobbing a bit because I have this overwhelming fear that we are going to somehow drive off the side of the freaking mountain, I actually told Ben that we should just turn around!!!!  Well we are glad we didn't!  Ben drove the little blue car home and I got to drive Ruby.  She has all wheel drive so it was a lot less scary, and the tires were pretty good too.  She does have some miles on her but a lot of them we're from the highway. I had some preferences for the new car, because I was going to be the one primarily driving it because it's the safer one, so Ben wanted me and Sadie to be as safe as possible.  What a good guy! He's so sweet!  I had my heart set on a hatchback, or a non dorky looking wagon.  I really like the space and this may sound stupid but...I can see better out of the back window which = less accidents!I also wanted something that had really good gas mileage.  Ruby definitely does! She gets 26 mpg in the city and 31 mpg on the highway.  They filled it up at the dealership and when we got home from the 2 hour drive the tank was still on full! It has a really nice interior and is in good condition.  Ben knows that this car has to last us a while so I'm going to take really good care of it! Changing the oil every 3 months and rotating the tires, I'm going to treat this car like a second baby!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Birth Day Class is a Great Investment!

What an interesting class! I definitely recommend this to any of my friends in the Rexburg, ID area who are expecting or will be soon ;) it's definitely worth the time and money especially if you are going to do a natural birth.  I never realize how much I didn't know or even think about!

The first class we talked all about what our ideal birth experience would be.  It was a really small class for this session just us and another couple and than there will be a few different couples coming at random weeks for classes that they missed.  Katy Rawlins is the instructor and is a certified doula as well.  She is so funny and really knows her stuff.  One of the best parts is the fact that it doesn't feel like a class that you would take a school or at the hospital, it's more relaxed and realistic so I feel comfortable asking questions and not feel stupid.

My favorite part about the 1st class was discussing what your partner will be doing while your in active labor, and especially what he won't be doing.  Please no counting! Childbirth is a natural process and in fact it releases the same hormones in your body as when your being intimate with your spouse.  You want to feel as relaxed as possible to ease the pain, and having someone counting in your face 1,2,3,4,5,6 screaming YOU CAN DO IT! COME ONE YOU CAN DO IT! I realized in the class that it was certainly not relaxing for me! haha

Another thing that I loved was learning the best way to make noise.  You always see people screaming at the top of their lungs during childbirth but that's actually counter productive! It's proven that making noise when you are in pain helps to cope, but there are different types of noises.  When you are moaning in a low pitch you are actually relaxing your cervix...go on try scream in a high pitch, do you feel it tighten up?
Well I don't want to give away any of her secrets but just a little teaser for all my mama's out there.

Her class is worth it, it's fun, it's affordable, and I feel more confident that I can have Sadie in the least invasive way possible without any unnecessary medical intervention.  Also me and Ben left feeling even closer to each other and having a better idea of what to expect and what we can do.